The Study of Acting as an Art, Craft, and Business -- Passion & Profession -- film, music, production, inspiration, gaining confidence, tv/movie extras, interviews, news, how-to's
When you meet wise hard-working people that have similar goals as you, you need to see what a rare thing it is. These are the thinkers. These are the doers. Just like you. As a team, you can collaborate on a project and create something worthwhile that springs both of you forward in life.
Journal ¶ A lot of exciting things have been happening. I met Michael St. Clair, a very talented music producer. I've begun to record my songs. I'm also writing more. It's been exciting, for someone who never thought of herself as a singer/songwriter ever. I've always loved music and art tho, the way it moves you. I also had the pleasure of meeting Gunnar Thorderson. He is going places. Together, he, Michael, and my friend Aaron, started some awesome stuff. A lot is in store with this talented group. Photo shoots, scene work, acting projects, extra work, duets, and a strong youtube miniseries. Something is coming. Something big. And i'm glad you get to witness the process.
Gunnar told me a lot about the biz. He was so willing to dispense his knowledge about the industry.
Headshots
neutral colors, gaussian blur, eyes in focus; 3 different tshirts
1. neutral face - no emotion
2. serious looking
3. sexy fierce
4. girl next door, innocent
5. the lawyer, business
Hit up agencies until you get one
"I'm a new talent seeking representation"
do not, hellllll no, do not pay for representation
representation should get paid when you do - a percentage
you can switch agents later as you get bigger & more in depth
Demo reel - easy, recorded scenes, nice camera, good lighting, grab a friend
Student films
Learn industry, know the business
Proscouts class $70/day of acting
Boutique agency - famous agent that takes you under their wing
usually they have a class you can take so you can learn and show them your skill
Get typecast - where you get cast as a certain type of character
You can model before you act - build your name
I assume this means being a musician before, too
Utah actora and extras
Get on set
find out when/where choreographer, PA, etc is on set
talk to them, ask questions, soak up as much knowledge as possible
they see your drive, they like you, they connect you
Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is a strength.
The secret is: when it comes to yourself and feelings, there is nothing to be ashamed of, ever. Every feeling you have is valid. Every experience you have is valuable to your identity. If others are going to put you down for it, they're only doing disservice to themselves. It's only when you value others' confidence over your own that you fall. And artists got no time for this cuz artists know their vulnerability is what empowers their creation, their craft! Now get to work.
Be professional and take yourself seriously. You have a great work ahead of you.
Vulnerability is so particularly powerful in acting because it is what everyone else is afraid to show and yet it is something we all experience and wish we could show to others without fear. Let's show it, regardless! Be unembarrassed to portray emotions that exist in life; those are the only ones that matter.
Be confident and professional in the art of expression!
So here you have it.. about to get real. VIDEO CONTEXT: moving away from my best friend, simultaneously going through extreme heartbreak; it is going to be hard; deciding to be my biggest support, to uplift my life. tone: peace, somber joyful tears. Every experience characterizes you. Use it.
btw, we are our own worst critic so no one needs to be told their flaws. i am aware of all'a mine. embrace it. this is what it means to be vulnerable, to put yourself out there, flaws and all. It adds to your character as a human being.
Love yourself more than anyone. Like yourself more than anyone. Be healthy. And you will have a great life.
This past year has been a lot of hell but I'm slowly coming back. Maybe I'll mention it at some point but for now, I'm just excited to post this because it has been a year and i am finally excited enough about something in my life again. And what do you know? It's story, music, acting! And I am rejuvenated, at peace, and excited about life again.
I picked up again on One Tree Hill after a few year stint of not watching it after Payton and Lucas left. I'm back in it and I'd forgotten how great it is. Tearing up, getting emotional, scared, laughing hysterically, or getting super excited about life, it inspires me. This one is freaky. It is a nightmare sequence. I would say viewer discretion is advised. But, it's hilarious too.
This. This is it. I love music and acting. And here we are. This song inspired some excitement in me that I haven't known for the past year. I can do this. I can do this life the way I want.
Both of the above clips are from Season 8 Episode 6 (a halloween episode, i might ad--my absolute favorite holiday)
Lip-singing with headphones in watchin the video above... feelin good and lovin it.. you can play the video above at the same time so there's actual audio. i just wanted to post this becuz it's odd but i felt so good i don't care!
Yesterday in class i was last to go. there really wasn't enough time left, i shouldn't have performed. i wasn't prepared enough.
I picked a comedic monologue the night before. i wanted to say the lines really fast and expressively, but i didn't practice enough.
my slow pace and thought process really made it more dramatic, not comedic. my teacher said it really was a great monologue choice, so that's good (for dramatic piece).
but it was an EPIC FAIL.
Lines are the air you breathe. without them, you choke. you break character. you break the truth of it all. lines have to be SO natural to you that you can pull them out of your ass at any moment if you need to. Leighton Meester is great at this as Blair on Gossip Girl, says her lines sooo fast and natural. really, i was so critical of myself for bein slow and needing help with the last lines and stanzas. POOP.
there wasn't enough time for the teach & class to critique, so i shouldn't have even gone. UGH. i did not like that. whateva kiyum.
but it was a lil bittersweet. to know this priority of memorization and preparation. to perform, you've got to be thinkin this all the time.
Comedic monologue i performed (only to find out after that it's not really comedic)
Luv by Murray Schisgal
p29-30
ELLEN: I was lonely, Harry; I was always lonely.
There was no one for me to talk with, or share things with.
I couldn’t make friends because I never stayed in one place long enough.
I went deeper and deeper inside of myself.
I read and fantasized and was far too bright for my age.
On the one hand I possessed a cold calculating mind;
it was sharp as a razor, incisive, penetrating.
Men were afraid of me.
They were afraid of my mind, my power of analysis,
my photographic memory.
They wouldn’t discuss things with me.
They became resentful and standoffish and
avoided me because I was a threat to
their feelings of masculine superiority.
You see, on the other hand,
on the other hand, Harry. I was a woman,
a woman who wanted to be loved,
who wanted to have children,
who wanted all the common dreary horrible middle-class things…
things that every other woman takes for granted.
I willingly succumbed to biology and sociological necessity.
I willingly confessed my womanhood.
But how do I bridge the gap?
I didn’t ask for universal education.
Why was I educated, Harry if I’m
compelled to live this fractured existence?
You say love and yes, what about love?
You know nothing about women, Harry.
For a woman to have never known love isn’t tragic.
The dream is still there. The dream…
She needs that more than she does the reality.
But to have love become a shabby cynical emotion…
To watch it change into pettiness and hate…
That’s what destroys her.
She loses her dream and…
It makes an animal of her, a vicious little creature
who only thinks of scratching and biting and getting revenge.
Comedic monologue i plan on practicing really well and performing instead of the latter:
Luv by Murray Schisgal
p. 48
ELLEN: You talk about misery! Ha!
That makes me laugh. Misery!
You can’t imagine how it’s been.
He… Who is he? What is he?
Why didn’t you shake me by the shoulders and slap my face and… do anything to stop me.
He… He isn’t human, Milt. That man…
He lays in the corner of the living room, rocking on his back, wearing a paperbag on his head, yes a paperbag, mumbling and groaning hour after hour…
I have to feed him, wash him… I can’t tell you everything. I’m too ashamed.
That’s what my marriage to Harry Berlin has been like.
And you wonder why I continue with it.
Ask me what I believe in, Milt.
I believe in marriage, Milt.
I believe in a man coming home at five o’clock with a newspaper rolled under his arm and a silly grin on his face and shouting, “What’s for dinner, hon?”
I believe in the smell of talcum powder and dirty diapers and getting up in the middle of the night to warm the baby’s bottle.
I can’t help it. I’m made that way.
But why did they teach me trigonometry and bio-chemistry and paleontology?
Why did they so sharpen my intellect that I find it impossible to live with a man?
I’ll never forgive the Board of Education for that. Never.
I had the opportunity to participate in a commercial shoot today. One of the benefits of being part of the advertising program.
I changed into that shirt, was shot at 3 different angles, was directed, was made to look good, etc. etc. Wow was that fun. I loved every minute. There were several takes from each angle and position.
They could have been more specific with what they wanted, but they were sorta just going with the flow of it so whatever. :-)
From start to finish it was probably a couple hours, and this footage is only for a 5-second time slot in the commercial. That's production for ya.
The commercial is for a campaign for Stride Gum.
In this scene, my co-worker and I are ditching work for a minute to play mop hockey outside. I say "Nuckle Puck!" and hit an empty water bottle, then cheer, then get caught by the boss. Basically the campaign shows all of the fun mischief stuff happening... "why does the mayhem have to stop?"
It was all volunteer, but it was soooo great... this feeling of being on camera, being directed, being used and getting real on-camera acting experience.
Also, fun fact. The guy in the top left is part of the Tessa Barton band, whom i think will be big. They are in my previous post Networking: Industry ppl I've Met so far. I had no idea, but he's in the BYU advertising program just like myself. His name is Chaz. Cool stuff.
I should have mention it before.. an earlier step. But here it is now. When i first started reading about acting, it was on Wikipedia for general information. There i learned that there are really two different main approaches to acting: one lead by Lee Strasberg, and the other by Sanford Meisner.
I first decided to study Meisner's method because i had read comments that his way is more direct and simple, and i didn't want to waste any time. So I read "Meisner On Acting" by Sanford Meisner about a month ago. I had read about 50 pages when i met Susan and she told me STOP READING. and i did stop... But i thought about it for a few days and decided to keep reading... So i finished it, and had a better acquaintance with the acting studies.
I wanted to keep reading because i literally had no knowledge of acting--meaning i had no idea what is expected, what's not, what's acceptable in a classroom environment, what general language and terms are used in the craft. I wanted to get aquainted with the perception of others. Susan told me that you can't learn method from books and that i shouldn't read them because they'd confuse me. And i can totally see why she said that. But, I look at things objectively and i am not going to internalize the thing which i read, or act too-good just because i've read a book or two, which i think that's what she wanted to avoid.
However, as i studied with Susan and started to read Lee Strasberg's book "A Dream of Passion, The Development of the Method," i realized that this is the Method that i worked for me. I feel it to be more classy, professional, and structured, more closely related to that of the grandfather of acting--Constantin Stanislavsky. Whereas, Meisner seemed a bit more gritty, harsh, and unsupported by method research.
With this healthy attitude about learning from reading books, I was more prepared and ready to work with Susan. She even commented how i "know all the right terms" after i had been intellectually prepared with terms like "craft, diction, cold reading, etc." So if you've got a healthy and humble approach, then you can learn from books--just make sure you are objective and not to assimilate to everything you read. you must discover what works for you on your own, or better yet with an amazing coach.
Friday was my 3rd session with Susan Grace Cohen. I love every minute. I learn so much from her experience with other students and industry professionals.
She tells me stories of the industry... how she taught Justin Chambers (Grey's Anatomy), Karen Allen, etc. She was offered to work with Michelle Williams on her new movie depicting Marilyn Monroe, of which she could be up for an Academy Award....
She tells stories of students that she teaches at NYU and at the Lee Strasberg Institute and how they are so much different, some childish and immature. Instead of humbly accepting an assignment or task from which they would efficiently learn, they question it and question its relevance to their work. Come on people! Don't question, just work and trust that your teacher is an expert in this.
Colleen and I were talking the other night how i have the ability and willingness to learn. I absorb as much as i can and do so with an open mind and humble heart. I don't want to challenge my teacher, i want to learn from her and challenge myself. That is the way to learn. And apparently it's been paying off. Susan wasn't wary to let me know how impressed she was that i was progressing so quickly and picking things up so fast. Let's just say she gave me very good remarks at the end of the session, and i am so humbled and grateful.
It even got me to wonder where i should be this next year, thinking maybe i should stay here close to NYC, keep learning, and seek work as a bona fide actress -- instead of going back to school for a year and a half. It seriously got me thinking.
Ultimately, i'll get my degree.. which is good, not just because of the college degree and all, but because i think the pacing will help me adjust to the life i will be leading in a year or two. I don't want things to go too fast or i won't even know how to deal with it.
So, i'll work on these 2 new monologues she's given me (i've just been working on the one monologue for 3 sessions, and i think Susan's pleasantly surprised that I am ready for a lot more than that). i'll get acquainted with reading through an entire play with an artistic eye and creative mind. The play is Summer and Smoke by Tennessee Williams. I've ordered it from Amazon and we'll see how it goes. Mission? read through a few scenes, put it down, come back to it after a day or two, read a few more scenes, repeat, etc. I think the point is to gradually become familiar with the characters and mood of the play... we shall see!!!
I have currently had 2 private sessions with Susan Grace Cohen, with more to follow. And i got to tell you...
Haven't read this.. the image just applies.
i have developed a revelatory sense of acting as a craft. [let me preface by saying i am studying by way of the Method as developed by Lee Strasberg --which i'll talk about in another post].
Acting is not really acting. What i mean is, it's not just pretending... oh no... it is being as sincere and true as a person can be, just under "imaginary circumstances." (coined Meisner)
So, when you act, you prepare very personally for your own emotions to lead how you say something. You can think about whatever you want while you are in the process of acting. What you feel in relation to what you are thinking is how you bring truth to the scene. Then, you simply say the given lines over your true thoughts and emotions. And therefore, because what you are thinking and feeling on the inside is completely true to yourself, then the acting that happens on the outside has the same outcome of truth and sincerity. And let's be honest, you can usually tell when someone is sincere versus when someone is fake.
Is this making any sense? It seems to make so much sense in my head, but for all know it could sound like word vomit..
The point is, i have a deeper appreciation for acting. I consider myself to be an artist, one of different mediums such as painting, photography, design (check out my art blog: karyncadyartworks)... but i have never experienced an art that is as challenging as acting to create truthfully. That's what you are doing... creating. Every emotion, every glance, every voice fluctuation and facial movement, every gesture, every thing -- It is creation!
1. Research the Pros--professionals are professionals for a reason... they know how to work the business and get noticed for their talent and acquired skill! No wonder they have become stars. They deserve to be stars! I came across some celebrity auditions. Impressive if you ask me. Thought i'd share. Very cool. I love love love these actresses. Oh! Speaking of which, never feel embarrassed for liking or wanting to emulate anyone you admire, no matter how different or unusual (or on the other side of the spectrum: mainstream or fad-like) it may appear to be. You are an artist, so appreciate and aspire like an artist.
Not to mention, i came across this blog that is written anonymously by some successful actress. Check it out. It helps to visualize yourself being successful in what you love too! http://theworkingactress.com/
The Following Videos:
1st is Emma Stone for Easy A. [monologue]
2nd is Sandra Bullock (not sure what for). [monologue]
3rd is Rachel McAdams for The Notebook [dialogue with Ryan Gosling].
2) Know How to Deal: too many young people (girls and women mostly) are taken advantage of in the acting biz. Know who you are and what you will and will not stand for.
i came across this suuuper disturbing video. it's a couple of students acting out a scene from When Harry Met Sally.. then the teacher takes it wayyyyyyyyyyy too far. I wanted to yell at this girl and tell her that's it's okay for you to stand up for yourself! if you FEEL like something is wrong, then it probably IS wrong.
CAUTION: this is TV-MA for sexual innuendo and strong language.
although it has very mature content, it sure makes me thankful for my strong sense of right and wrong. it's good because it prepares you to react properly in a situation like this, instead of just being in complete shock and confusion. now ain't no way in hell i'd allow an acting teacher treat me this way.
btw, i later found out it was in the Sundance Film Festival '09. So it's not actually real.. i think.
the acting business is so huge. i had no idea where to start. i was new in every way to the business. i had no experience, no knowledge, do i first study, get an agent, audition, what? i had no clue where to start. so what do you do when you have no clue? you turn to the ultimate in internet information: google.
I Googled "Acting"
i had pulled up at least 10 different websites and read them all thoroughly, comparing and evaluating their info. already, i had learned a ton of info just on the very simple basics of the acting industry.
i read a dozen different articles like these ones on about.com and through other sources on google. although these were very valuable for me (not knowing anything about anything in the business), none of these articles really gave me what i desired: a step-by-step process and where exactly to start. i was a fresh piece of clay and need to be molded correctly from the start.
however, i did learn that the first thing i needed to do was get headshots.
Give me good writing and I am in love. Good writing provides subjects, stories, and characters worth portraying, worth the time and effort to communicate to an audience. I just never realized that I could actually be the one who portrays these things.
Before this year, I had never imagined acting as something actually plausible. It seemed untouchable--that the people you saw on television and on cinema screens were more special or capable of such accomplishments. This is such small-thinking.
I'm not sure exactly when it hit me, it must have been an ongoing process, but I finally realized that I can have what I want, and what I want is to act. So that's what I'm in the process of doing and having in my life. This process is what you are reading in this blog.
As I start my career, I am learning so much about the business, how it works, how to get your foot in the door, and how to actually become a talented actor. As I learn it all, I will post this information, along with my personal experiences with people, classes, auditions, the business, resources, etc. That way, not only will I be able to review my overall progress, but you might be informed, too.
These are exciting times. A student learning to swim is in the process of becoming a tidal wave. Get ready. We are the future's amazement.
