It's called choking for a reason

Yesterday in class i was last to go. there really wasn't enough time left, i shouldn't have performed. i wasn't prepared enough.

I picked a comedic monologue the night before. i wanted to say the lines really fast and expressively, but i didn't practice enough.

my slow pace and thought process really made it more dramatic, not comedic. my teacher said it really was a great monologue choice, so that's good (for dramatic piece).

but it was an EPIC FAIL.

Lines are the air you breathe. without them, you choke. you break character. you break the truth of it all. lines have to be SO natural to you that you can pull them out of your ass at any moment if you need to. Leighton Meester is great at this as Blair on Gossip Girl, says her lines sooo fast and natural. really, i was so critical of myself for bein slow and needing help with the last lines and stanzas. POOP.

there wasn't enough time for the teach & class to critique, so i shouldn't have even gone. UGH. i did not like that. whateva kiyum.

but it was a lil bittersweet. to know this priority of memorization and preparation. to perform, you've got to be thinkin this all the time.

Comedic monologue i performed (only to find out after that it's not really comedic)
Luv by Murray Schisgal
p29-30
ELLEN: I was lonely, Harry; I was always lonely.

There was no one for me to talk with, or share things with. 

I couldn’t make friends because I never stayed in one place long enough.

I went deeper and deeper inside of myself.

I read and fantasized and was far too bright for my age.

On the one hand I possessed a cold calculating mind; 

it was sharp as a razor, incisive, penetrating.

Men were afraid of me.

They were afraid of my mind, my power of analysis, 

my photographic memory.

They wouldn’t discuss things with me.

They became resentful and standoffish and 

avoided me because I was a threat to 

their feelings of masculine superiority.

You see, on the other hand, 

on the other hand, Harry. I was a woman, 

a woman who wanted to be loved, 

who wanted to have children, 

who wanted all the common dreary horrible middle-class things… 

things that every other woman takes for granted.

I willingly succumbed to biology and sociological necessity. 

I willingly confessed my womanhood.

But how do I bridge the gap?

I didn’t ask for universal education.

Why was I educated, Harry if I’m 

compelled to live this fractured existence?

You say love and yes, what about love?

You know nothing about women, Harry.

For a woman to have never known love isn’t tragic. 

The dream is still there. The dream…

She needs that more than she does the reality.

But to have love become a shabby cynical emotion… 

To watch it change into pettiness and hate…

That’s what destroys her.

She loses her dream and…

It makes an animal of her, a vicious little creature 

who only thinks of scratching and biting and getting revenge. 

Comedic monologue i plan on practicing really well and performing instead of the latter:

Luv by Murray Schisgal

p. 48

ELLEN: You talk about misery! Ha!

That makes me laugh. Misery!

You can’t imagine how it’s been.

He… Who is he? What is he?

Why didn’t you shake me by the shoulders and slap my face and… do anything to stop me.

He… He isn’t human, Milt. That man…

He lays in the corner of the living room, rocking on his back, wearing a paperbag on his head, yes a paperbag, mumbling and groaning hour after hour…

I have to feed him, wash him… I can’t tell you everything. I’m too ashamed.

That’s what my marriage to Harry Berlin has been like.

And you wonder why I continue with it.

Ask me what I believe in, Milt.

I believe in marriage, Milt.

I believe in a man coming home at five o’clock with a newspaper rolled under his arm and a silly grin on his face and shouting, “What’s for dinner, hon?”

I believe in the smell of talcum powder and dirty diapers and getting up in the middle of the night to warm the baby’s bottle.

I can’t help it. I’m made that way.

But why did they teach me trigonometry and bio-chemistry and paleontology?

Why did they so sharpen my intellect that I find it impossible to live with a man?

I’ll never forgive the Board of Education for that. Never.

Rabbit Hole Scene Rehearsal

I play Becca, a woman whose 4 year old son was run over by a teenage by, Jason. This scene is 10 months after the accident, where Jason and Becca are meeting as an attempt to connect in some way because they both share this tragic experience. 

Click here for the written scene! Also, they made the play into a movie, with Nicole Kidman as Becca.

^my scene with Dallen. also some before-prepping and after-fun.


This is the only recording I'll have of this scene. It's rough. We worked on it a bunch since then. We worked privately with the TA who gave us some Meisner exercises to do, which were fun. We made the scene more light and real, not so dismal and blah and long. We perform it a total of 3 times in class.

Girl, Interrupted Monologue

Help me understand, Daisy.

'Cuz i thought you didn't do valium.

I do. But i'm sick, Daisy. We know that.

But here you are in so called recovery, playing Betty Crocker, cut up like a damn Virginia ham.

Tell me how this safety net is working for you.

Tell me that you don't take that blade and drag it across your skin and pray for the courage to press down.

Tell me how your daddy helps you cope with that.

I mean, you tell me daddy loves you, and I bet he does.

With every inch of his manhood.

They didn't release you because you got better, Daisy.

They just gave up.

You call this a life, hmm?

Taking daddy's money, buying your dollies and your knick-knacks,

and eating his chicken, fattening up like a prize heifer.

You changed the scenery but not the situation.

And the wardon makes house calls.

And everybody knows. Everybody knows that he screws you.

But what they don't know is you like it. Hmm? You like it.

But hey man, it's cool. Whatever.

A man is a dick is a man is a dick is a chicken, a dad, a valium, a speculum, whatever.

Whatever.

You like being Mrs. Randone.

Probably all you've ever known, huh?

I presented this in my acting class, and it got quite a silent reaction. My TA just said, "Okay, well now we're all going to be a little scared of Karyn." 

Kinda fun :)

Reading a Scene! Finally!

We've finished with exercises, moved on to scene work. Dave and Gabby assigned a part to each of us, from a few different plays: Rabbit Hole, Crimes of the Heart, and Proof. We have about a week--week and a half to cut the scene down, memorize our lines, rehearse, incorporate blocking (the way u move around the stage), etc. so we can perform it and get good feedback.

Goal: read the play (several times), really understand your character, then encompass it in your scene while playing off the other person.

Rabbit Hole 
by David Lindsay-Abaire
I play the part of Becca, late thirties/early fourties, whose 4-year-old son was killed by a car in the street by her house about 8 months ago. She had left the gate open, and the teenage boy had hit him. This scene is the meeting btwn the teenager and Becca at her house.

Class Exercise #5: Secrets

performed Thursday, February 2, 2012

#5 Objective, Tactics, Secrets -- each person has a secret of their own, either dependent or independent (the audience knows what it is, or nobody but the actor knows what it is).

Scene -- Brittini and I enter from opposite directions. I close the door behind me after doing a bunch of whispering to someone outside the door. Brittini doesn't look happy. I persist that she tell me what's wrong. she says she got a bad test grade and it'll piss off dad. I insist that she not worry about it and it'll all be alright. I make her laugh by recalling Jared's funny Bell's Palsy. Slowly i make her happy and then lead her out the door where we yell "surprise!"

OBJECTIVES:

Brittini -- to keep secret from family and dad

• Secret: got a bad test grade
• TACTICS
• to avoid eye contact
• to reject
• to ask not to tell
• to make others for sorry for her

Karyn -- to make Brittini content enough to transition her to a celebratory mood

• Secret: throwing a surprise party for Brittini
• TACTICS
• To sympathize
• To joke
• To physically readjust to show she cares
• To offer mac&cheese

WORKING WITH BRITTINI:

Got a say, i was a tiny intimidated to work with brittini because she's pre-acting and pretty so i wasn't sure if she'd be stand-offish or something. Not at all! She reminded me a ton of my younger sister April. It was so natural working with her, especially playing her older sister! She's definitely got what it takes to succeed as an actress--the right look, the right deep dark eyes, the truth that she portrays. She could be a lil more... something. i don't know. charasmatic? no. grown-up? maybe. i don't know... it's some thing. but she's definitely got a star quality about her.

Honestly, i feel a lil competition. From the combination of Dave's and Gabby's comment ["why did you ask for her phone?" is really the only thing they said to me; "i like how you said 'you know what dad will do'" is what they said to brittini], i feel that brittini did better in the skit, which she probably did. She's a natural. I feel like it is a bit easier to play the depressed, unhappy character instead of the one pushing the scene along. It's harder to play happy truthfully, i think, because everybody has different ways of showing that they're happy--hyper, content, dancy, dull, normal, whatever-- but being sad is pretty commonly known to be one certain thing -- turned off, sad, emotionally unstimulated.

I want to work with Brittini again though. I feel she takes these things seriously and responds to improv well enough. And because she's like my lil sis, it seems so natural and truthful with her. After the skit tho, i realize i need to be less aware of my lines and stuff, and more focused on responding to the improv itself.

Class Exercise #4: Physical Obstacle

performed on Thursday, January 26, 2012

#4. Objective, Tactics, Room Conflict, Physical Obstacle -- add physical obstacle; something that affects behavior having to do with the actor's body (needs to pee, broken arm, etc.

Scene -- I'm in a rush for an interview. I enter scarfing down my breakfast sandwich. I get onto the elevator, see Ashley approaching, and try to close the door but fail. She is chewing a big stick of gum, and my breath smells really bad. I ask for a piece. We recognize each other from class, and she needs my notes but i have no time. The elevator breaks down. She panics (claustrophobia). When the doors open, she scrambles out and i take a piece of gum from her bag and exit.

OBJECTIVES

Karyn - wants Ashley to give her a piece of gum

• Physical Object: breath smells
• TACTICS:
• To ask
• To guilt
• To make Ashley feel irrational
• To take

Ashley - wants Karyn to give her the notes from class 

• Physical Object: claustrophobia
• TACTICS:
• To ask
• To annoy
• Plead
• To make Karyn feel sorry for her

WORKING WITH ASHLEY:

I really wanted to work with Ashley. in her previous skits, i thought she had real presence and character, which she so does. although she may have lacked that honest vulnerability. but i was impressed by her.

when we rehearsed, she was a lil' distracted with a real "performing" instead of "truth" demeanor. she encouraged me to be more elaborate and dramatic, but i tried sticking more low-key. though i didn't direct her otherwise because we were a bit rushed, so i stayed mellow with nothing to prove. She'd find out from a real authority (our teacher) what to do. I could have mentioned somethin tho because...

our skit was very dramatic. it was fun tho, comedic. and the TA had us reenact it -- to be more honest. Best thing! ACTUAL COACHING! and Ashley was amazing. she felt vulnerable and uneasy, but it was true emotion! way better work to work off of because of the honesty is brings!

afterward she seemed boggled or sad. after asking her what was wrong, she said "it's just a lot to take in." she had to change her whole idea of what acting was. i think the balance of extroverted personalities became balanced. we had gained a respect for one another. i freakin love that girl now, and i look forward to working with her again. yayyy.

Class Exercise #3: Room Conflict

performed on Thursday, January 26, 2012

#3. Objective, Tactics, Room Confict -- Something about the setting that affects the scene (ie. in a library-must be quiet)

Scene -- Nate is my big brother and I his little sister. We are at an amusement park and he had just won a stuffed animal that I want him to give me. The scene starts before and while we enter the room with my pleading. He wants me to go on the roller coaster, but I'm too afraid.

OBJECTIVES

Karyn - get stuffed animal from Nate

• TACTICS:
• beg
• plead
• flatter
• threat about secret gf

Nate - get little sister karyn onto ride

• TACTICS:
• walking... leading both to ride
• tell karyn its the cool thing that big kids do
• persuasion "there's no line at all"
• to bribe with bear
• to swindle into getting her to sit down on ride

WORKING WITH NATE:
I was looking forward to working with Nate. Why? ...hello? Look at him. I saw more skit potential.

Though, when we met, it took forever just to come up with an idea. seriously. he was boring to me. i would throw something out there, and he'd dodge it and yet he didn't really have a firm opinion of his own. i wanted to tackle a scene about dating, but only because we fit the part (i have a bf). i think he didn't want to go there. so it took hours and hours to come up with something. we had to meet two more times -- once on skype and once more in person for a couple hours.

...finally, i threw out the idea about siblings on a roller coaster. something light and "unambiguous" so to speak. we went for it, and i loved it. easy. he was fun as the older brother. I relived my annoying lil sister routine. though, i played it TOO much during class: the voice, the dramatics, the young age, the blah blah blah... not really believable. I see that now. Nate did very well. but after my performance, the TA said we need to play ourselves, our own age, etc. Good to know and good for the class to know, too.

i realize tho that boring is not the word. I just need to get to know people a bit first. because they are all so nice and welcoming. we work together and grow as a partnership. good stuff!

Class Exercise #2: Objective/Tactics

Starting PARTNER WORK. It's structured improv, meaning it's got a plot and rehearsals, but it can change during the performance of the skit. Though it's pretty straight-forward.
Format of My Recap: title of exercise -- brief description of exercise, describing the scene itself, OBJECTIVE/TACTICS outline, and my overall thoughts on the scene/my partner [disclaimer: honest].

performed on Thursday, January 19, 2012

#2. Objective, Tactics -- Both ppl need to do/get something from the other using 3 tactics. 
Scene -- Bobby and I are coworkers at the home depot. I'm at work and he came in to get some paint. I had a potential date so i wanted him to cover me for the next hour. He wanted me to take his entire AM shift saturday. I say no, he says no. We each persist.
Bobby: c'mon why can't you just take my shift? c'mon why not? what's up... why not?
Karyn: fine!! ...there's a reason i've been working at the home depot since 1998. I don't get up before noon!
Bobby says okay, he'll cover me. I exit. He lied and exits suspiciously.

OBJECTIVES

• Bobby - get Karyn to take my shift on Saturday morning 8am-1pm
• TACTICS :
• Guilt Trip - "I took two of your shifts last month, therefore you should take this one"
• rejected: Karyn: I don't remember those shifts
• Bribery - I'll give you a few bucks for lunch that day
• Pleading - "why won't you take the shift?"
• Lying - EXIT
• Rejections

• Why can't you do it later?
• Get someone else?
• My list of errands
• Karyn - get Bobby to work for one hour while Karyn goes on a lunch date
• TACTICS:
• Manipulation: "What are you up to right now?"
• Barter
• Plead
• Rejections
• Initial Agreement, but rejected at finding out that it starts at 8am. "Oh, I have something that morning"
• Rejection of the money for lunch: "I may be out of town"
• There's a reason Ive been working at home depot for ten years

WORKING WITH BOBBY:
I wasn't sure about working with Bobby. I had my pick of the class to work with, and I wanted to work with Mallory cuz she was really the only one i had spoken to in the class at that point. but Bobby was sitting an empty chair away from me. my initial thought that he was probably just nice, but not real experienced. i was probly just in one of those moods: shy, nervous, anxious about the skit. He offered so joyfully that i couldn't refuse and he made me happy about the scene to come!

It's a good thing I worked with him! He's got to be one of the best idea-guys and very talented in acting! He really understands the material and can get into the mind of the situation/characters. He's organized, has good opinions, and has a really easy-going personality that is super great to work with. Bobby really knows how to break a scene down and move at an even pace. Different from Nate (no offense Nate). I learned a lot from working with him, and I'll never misjudge ppl again! Bobby is now one of my favorite people in the class.

Class Exercise #1 "To Begin!"

performed on Thursday, January 12, 2012

#1. Individual Objects -- Use 3 or more objects in a scene from daily life.
I did laundry. now i think of it. it was pretty boring. but i accomplished the task. Other ppl had a mood about them--tired, mad, etc. I was just content and thought about doin my laundry at Shelley --my home in CT.
I didn't know what the professor or TA wanted. They don't exactly spell it out.

NEXT UP...
PARTNER WORK
We have a total of 4 exercise scenes with partners titled:
Ojective & Tactics, Room Conflict, Physical Object, and Secrets.
Format for my future recaps: 

• title of exercise,
• brief description of exercise, 
• description of the scene itself,
• OBJECTIVE/TACTICS, 
• and my overall thoughts on the scene/my partner [DISLCLAIMER: very honest].

An objective is what you want and the tactics are how you accomplish that which you want, which are described in verb form with "to..." (i.e. to begin! to flatter, to plead, to bully). Each scene must have an entrance, objective, and exit.